Today is my 30th birthday. And I would be lying if I said I didn't feel apprehension leading up to this day. The ever present "how-am-I-almost-thirty-and-what-have-I-done-with-my-life" dialogue was getting louder and louder. I couldn't help but wallow in the fact that I am single with no prospects at a husband and more children, in the fact that I have thousands of dollars of student loan debt, am still renting housing from my family, and constantly feeling like I am waiting for my life to begin working out the way I want it to. It's so incredibly easy to get lost in the dark cloud of all the things that are difficult in our lives, or things we feel we lack, or have yet to accomplish. How is it possible that I didn't accomplish x, y and z by 30....

But then I remind myself how lucky I am, at 30 years old, to have my parents AND my grandparents be supportive and involved in my life. To see them dote on and love my daughter. How incredibly blessed I am to have a wonderful daughter, who is my world. How privileged I am to have gotten to live in another country for several years and earn not one but two master's degrees. How loved I am by a handful of deeply devoted friends. And how incredible it is to hear my daughter's laughter every morning when we wake up snuggled up in my bed.

It's not about the number. It's about perspective. It's not about a checklist of achievements by a certain date. It's about growth and progress and the journey. I lose sight of this far too often, too worried about what I "should" be doing by now or where I "should" be by now.

This post isn't directed at anyone but me. Just felt the need to share some thoughts as my birthday comes to an end.

I wish you all love and light on your journeys, especially the journey to motherhood.

❤️ This is 30.