The perpetual cycle

TWW again... 4dpo. It’s a cycle of hope until AF, then sadness and resignation, then excitement amd lots of sex during ovulation; then the hope again.

It’s so tiring.

Three miscarriages in seven months, a year TTC. I’m “olderrr” (44), that seems to be the explanation for the miscarriages. My eggs are aged.

I’m taking a tonne of supplements, about 12 tablets a day. As yet they’ve not worked.

I am lucky, I do have older kids; but my partner amd I would like one together (he has none).

My ex was horrendous during our unplanned pregnancy (failed bc); and my now partner is wonderful. I want the joy of sharing this with him, and parenting with him. He is a wonderful guy.

I feel like time is running out anyway; and that just maybe it’ll never happen successfully. It hurts my heart. Our first lost baby would be due in four weeks.