Just needed to get it out

My period has been 3 days late, no signs, no symptoms. I always have cramps, I'm always emotional. Since I started my period 11 years ago, it's always been this way. My husband and I have been ttc for a year now, since our miscarriage. Every month has been another disappointment, I thought this month would be different. I was severely nauseated for the last week, no AF, but negative tests. So we decided to just keep holding out and see what happens. This month came along and everything was different, I really thought we did it this time, then I get up this morning and I have a little bit of brown blood and a smidge of red. I know that's the start of AF, I'm just so disappointed and so heartbroken. I feel like I'll never have my rainbow, I dont understand why I was 3 days late and now I'm having my period, when it's been consistant my entire life. I know this means I ovulated later than normal, but I just feel so defeated.

Sorry this is long. I just really needed to get it off my chest