What do you think is it fair

So when I was little my cousins and sisters used to run away from me when we all met up they used to ditch me so while the parents were talking and they were playing cricket or something I would be sitting in a tree alone or wondering of alone after my great uncle died they started calling me names telling me to get a life when my nan died they stopped started treating me nicley I still haven't gotten over what they used to do to me for 11 years of my life and now they are acting like they care and I was bullied I've never had a true friend or anyone to turn to I don't trust anymore my mum and dad used to hit me and only ever yells at me they stopped hitting me when I got to 5 grade I have never had a new bed new mattress and I asked for one even a second hand one (mines broken completely and the mattress is really uncomfortable and worn) all they said was no and there getting my sister a brand new bed brand new mattress she got a new one last year and they are putting her bed in the spare room I'm not geting a new bed for about 5 years they said I will be moved out in 5 years im 14 they always tell at me saying I'm lazy worthless not trying my own dad told me he wouldn't care if I killed my self 2018 I started distence education and all of it caught up to me I got so depressed I got really bad anxiety insomnia I was cutting starving myself I was not happy at all I had really bad panic attacks and hardly any sleep living of 4 hours sleep and some nights none because I didn't finish my work my parents don't care about it they haven't said anything or they haven't caught on I tried to kill myself I feel shit still do my mum said I couldn't were a tank top out because of my stretch marks on my shoulders 1 year later and in 45 degree heat she is telling me to wear a tank top when I wanted to wear a hoodie it's all I wear now i have a therapist I have had it since 6 grade I don't trust her I don't trust the doctor I don't trust my own family and don't have friends I have a horse and a dog that I trust and their my best friends I would be dead if it wasn't for them I would have given up I don't want to I honestly think my parents treat me unfair because they have never yelled at my sister's they can get a bad grade punch me not do their jobs they have none anyway and they will be fine I put something in the wrong cupboard dont vacuum do the dishwasher, bins, water or feed the dog, laundry, clean the bathrooms, backyard I get yelled at if I walk slightly of I get yelled at honestly they have yelled at me from walking differently I can't help it everyone has to shower before me and if it's after 9pm I can't shower some days I don't get to my mum buys my sister's bottles of coke lollies anything they want I ask for a block of chocolate once in a while and I'm to fat for it I should eat fruit I'm probably complaining over nothing and probably selfish