Is she asking too much of me?

Yesterday my mom says to me that, because of very legitimate reasons that I 110% agree with, my grandma wont come to my baby shower. She’s 88, has dementia, difficulty getting around, and there wouldn’t be too many people she knows there. Also, being from a Jewish family, it’s not traditional anyway.

I am perfectly fine with all of the reasoning.

What my mom says that I do not agree with is she says what we’ll do instead is have a small party after the baby is born “a week after she’s born so you’ll come here for it”.

I told her that I was fine with a nice intimate get together but that I didn’t think I’d be up for it wanting to drive an hour with my newborn. She said ‘you’ll be fine- you’re gonna be tired but not THAT tired’.

Opinions?