My hubby took my daughter when she was a year and half. Since we've added twos boys to the family. Her dad has been back and forth in her life. She knows who her dad is, she has his last name and speaks to him every other days. He has tried to be more "stable" in her life be seeing her once every two weeks sometimes he doesnt make it. We are at the point were she no longer wants to go with him. So this weekend was her birthday she had the option to go with dad and his family or stay home with us and her friends. She decided to stay before making a final decision I called him and he said it was fine. Tonight he calls me yelling upset that she believes she has my husbands last name. This was a first to me. I sat with her and she expressed to me she wanted to same last name as her brothers and that hubby's family is her family as well. I was a bit shocked but I explain as much as I could that she has 3 familys that love her very much, hubby's, dads and obviously mine. But that she holds her fathers last name but that it does not define her ect ect. After that talk i spoke to my mom shes super women to me and she thinks I could have explained a little better and maybe we should do family therapy. Hubby disagrees and believes I should let her grow up and decide what she wants to identify with. My daughters in school she cant believe she has one last name when its isn't. Moms please I need advice. Shes 6 and I dont want her to be confused about who she is? Am i overthinking this.

For those who believe I have my husband lastnight I dont. I kept my late name and all my kids have two last name their dads and mine!