First, I would like to start by saying that I love this app and all of the support that literally millions of women show each other every day. I love seeing women who have been TTC for YEARS become pregnant and share the great news. I love seeing women share news of their rainbow babies. I love seeing women who were told they’d never be able to get pregnant, share their ultrasound photos. I love that the women here can be honest, caring, supportive, and helpful in times of doubt. I love that when someone experiences a loss, we are all here offering words/stories of encouragement. And most of all, I love that this is a safe space for women to be completely vulnerable when talking about some of the most personal parts of their lives.

With that said, for the time being, I will be stepping away from all of the period tracking, BBT charting, etc. (all of my TTC apps) in hopes that I can focus more on myself and be in the present.

I have literally become OBSESSED with trying to conceive (symptom spotting, buying OPKs and pregnancy tests, buying “natural fertility supplements, etc.) and it’s taking a toll on my mental health. I couldn’t tell you how many pregnancy tests I’ve bought and taken, only for AF to show up again. Or how much money I have spent on promising “fertility aids” that have done nothing except waste my money. Or how after every ovulation (or supposed ovulation) I spend so much time googling my symptoms in hopes that it will result in a BFP. I have spent so much time and money that it’s become exhausting.

I’ve noticed in recent months, especially while TTC, that my anxiety has become worse, I’ve been more stressed from constantly worrying if I would ever get pregnant, and I’ve literally become bored with sex because I know that no matter how much we “do it”, it still won’t be “my month”.

I’m not writing this for the sole purpose of saying I’m deleting the app for a while, but I’m writing to share my story of how exhausting TTC is and how obsessed I’ve become with the thought of becoming pregnant - I literally think this obsession (and stress/anxiety) is what’s hindering me from becoming pregnant. I am writing to let other women know that it is OKAYYYY to step away for a while and focus on YOU.

I 100% will rejoin when I eventually do become pregnant and I hope to share some awesome news with such great women, but I need to do what’s best for me right now.

See you all again soon 💕