Alright this is gonna be a bit long but stay with me please.

So, me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over 2 years. You would say our relationship with eachother is pretty solid. We moved in with eachother in July and go to the same university. However, he’s failed 3 semesters of university and is working on his 4th right now. Honestly I’m not happy about it and I know it’s a problem but I have always thought to myself that he wants to do better, because who wouldn’t right?

Anyways, this has been a huge thing in our relationship since it is planning on being long term. I’ve always been the type of person who believes that if you surround yourself with successful people then you will also be successful. Back when we met in high school he was always doing very well and passed all of his classes. So that’s what made me attracted to him (I like myself some smart guys). But now that he’s failed 3 semesters of college and doesn’t seem to have changed his habits for this 4th one, I’m really questioning our relationship and if it’s a healthy and fulfilling one for me to be in. I do not want his bad habits to rub off on me as I plan on going to graduate school as soon as I finish my bachelors and grades are important/competitive for those programs. I’ve talked to him about it countless times since August, which was when last semester started. He changes for a few days then goes right back to sleeping for 14-18 hours a day and missing all of his classes. I’ve talked to his parents about this, I’ve talked to his friends. It doesn’t seem like any of those people get through to him, so I’m honestly thinking of leaving. I love this guy, I really do. But I can’t stand to see him throw his life away for an extra few hours of sleep and weed. I just can’t. And I have told him this, I’ve given him an ultimatum it’s gotten so bad at this point. But again, he “fixes” things for three days maximum, and then goes right back to his horrible routine. I’ve been nice and understanding for this long, but I can’t take it eating at me constantly anymore. I have horrible anxiety and I can’t help but worry for the ones I care about, but this is too much for me. I want to leave him, but I don’t. It’s also hard in my situation because we live together, and I don’t have the money to break the lease, nor do I want to move because I’m only 15 mins away from school now, where if I moved back home I would be about an hour away. I don’t know, I just need some help and if by chance there’s anyone that has been through the same thing as I’m going through now, let me know what you did. I’m only 20, I don’t want to waste my time with someone who doesn’t want to grow as a person, you know?

Edit: he does have a history of depression, and I always check up with him to make sure mentally he’s doing alright and not getting stuck in that sort of “cycle”. I also feel like I should include that he doesn’t often go to class, he does not work (has a job but doesn’t get scheduled) and he doesn’t have to pay for anything himself. Which is great and all, but from my opinion it doesn’t build the sense of responsibility maybe a lot of us less fortunate folk (myself included) have. I don’t know, honestly I feel bad for his parents for having to pay for three failed semesters at a state university