Y’all. Who’s ready for story time?

So my husband and I have been TTC for an entire year now. I’ve had two chemicals, but otherwise no luck. I’ve got pcos, so we knew going in that It’d be a tad tricky to conceive.

Well, I went into the doctors office and my midwife said that I’d pretty much exhausted all of the options she could help me with, so she referred me to this specialist OB lady. My brain was like:

But, she said she’d get some of the testing done now so we could hit the ground running when I could finally get in. Apparently this specialist is booked until March 1st.

That perked me up a little.

So, she’s scrolling through my past labs and then she stops and gets this really serious look on her face. She turns to me like:

And goes: “when was your last Pap smear?”

Obviously she knows the answer, because it’s right in front of her.

I had no clue, so I answer, “ummm I don’t know.”

Then she goes:

So guess who had a surprise Pap smear?

Fast forward a few minutes, and she’s getting ready to put the speculum in. Then out of nowhere, she pops up like:

“Do you want me to test for any STDs while I’m down here?”

Y’all. I was like,

So she takes her samples and sends them to the lab.

It’s been a few days and my labs came back.

I’ve got a fucking staph infection in my cervix. How the fuck did staph get into my cervix? I literally wash ALL the time. But I work in healthcare, so maybe I forgot to wash my hands BEFORE using the bathroom once?

So maybe that’s why it’s been so damn hard to get and keep a pregnancy.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. This is my life 🤦🏼‍♀️.

Both my husband and I are now on 10 days of clindamycin 600mg/day. And then I have to go in for another pap to check if it’s all gone in 30 days. Neither of us had any symptoms. None.

Moral of the story: always wash your hands BEFORE using the toilet, or after touching cart handles at the store, or literally anything. Also, if you’re having trouble conceiving, go to your doctor. Maybe you just have a case of crotch staph 😂🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️.