I thought I was eating well and doing better. May of 2014 I was 350 lbs. July of 2017 I was 225 lbs. And today I am 270 lbs.

I used to go to the gym religiously but had to stop. I have not been able to get back to it. I keep trying but my anxiety keeps me from even walking through the doors. I literally sat in my car outside the gym this morning having an anxiety attack and couldn't do it.

I am so disappointed in myself. I just want to sleep and cry. My husband deserves so much better than me. We are TTC and I need to lose 120 more pounds to have a healthy BMI. (I am 5'8) I do not want to concieve now and cause problems for our baby. I am so depressed right now. I just needed to vent I guess.