I’m completely torn on what to do, we already have two kids

One is 2 the other is 10 months

We don’t live on our own yet just planning on moving out in the next 2 months and I’m pregnant

12 weeks.

I’ve ALWAYS been against abortion I told myself I would NEVER get one

But circumstances have changed and I’m really torn on what to do.

If I don’t get one everything goes to shit

If I do get one I know my mental health with suffer because of how against it I’ve always been. I’m scared I’ll resent my husband or pull away from my family.

My son is autistic and I know he needs lots of attention right now and i feel like if I do have this child I’ll be taking away time from my other two.

I’m honestly so scared and I know the better choice would be to get the abortion but idk how I can do that to my unborn baby.

This is the HARDEST decision I’ll ever have to make and it’s eating up at me.

I have an appointment February 5th to make the decision.

And i know adoption is an option but I know I’ll just end up keeping the baby . Or I’ll hate myself knowing I have a child out there and it’s mine.

Sorry for this long post but I cry every night because idk what to do and no one knows but my husband and I and he says he’ll support any decision I make but we both know we’re not ready for a third and he says he’ll be here for me through everything but ultimately I’m the one getting the abortion not him. No matter what I decide someone is unhappy 😭😭😭😭