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Go to court and get him on child support and get court ordered custody. A court agreement protects both of you in case he were to try to kidnap the baby, and so he can get time (if he wants) with the baby. And you need to put him on child support, you’re just letting him get off with no consequences at this point.
Baby’s father ignoring us
So my my baby’s father I dated him for 3 years and we broke up c he cheated on me while I was pregnant . my baby is now 8 months old . The girl he cheated on m with need to getting pregnant and she just had her baby 3 weeks ago .
We got closer after our baby was born and we both agreed that we don’t wan to go to courts to split everything up . Bc I didn’t want the court let him bring my baby around his gf bc she threaten me , and he didn’t want me to put him on child support . So we switch off every other weekend. I only had her for two weekends bc I was having a Christmas party which he was invited to but decided not to go and he told me that he wants me to have her for that weekend .
Since the baby was born he called me once to tell me the baby was born and that was it And that was about 2 weeks ago . He told me he would be back this weekend to watch her and he still not back . I texted him and called him and I’m blocked . When ever he’s with that girl he blocks me so if there was ever emergency with our daughter he wouldn’t know . This is his second week missing our agreement this month and I’m just really irritated .
I mean I love having my daughter with me at all times but she needs to see her dad to , but she also needs a consistent one to . At this point I just don’t want him in her life at all if this is how it’s going to be.
If you were me what would you do ?
He also didn’t sign the birth h certificate so I can’t just go to court with out paying for a DNA test which I don’t have money for .
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He didn’t want to go to court because he didn’t want to be financially responsible. You didn’t because you don’t like his girlfriend. Guess what? You don’t get to decide that, and he needs to pay for his child. It is legal protection for BOTH of you, and your child. Time to be adults! File for support and custody. They will cover the dna test and order him to take it.
Li
Actually, you DONT get to decide. Welcome to being an adult! He is dating her, and even if this doesn’t work out, he’ll end up with someone else. Unless you or your child are in danger, the courts won’t care much, and let’s be honest. You probably take part in the crazy, and it’s not making it any better, amiright? Just as he has no say in who you date, you don’t have a say in who he dates. He has you right where he wants you - no financial responsibility whatsoever, and he comes and goes as he pleases. See how easily you are being manipulated?
an
I do get to decide that bc If I don’t feel comfortable around my child then she can’t be near my kid . She threatened me and my child so it’s not that I don’t like her it’s bc she’s crazy
I would give it time. You can go to court if you want but it sounds like you don’t. Even if a judge told him he had her every other weekend he doesn’t have to get her. She’s so young right now she isn’t noticing his absences yet. Maybe once the other baby grows a bit that chick will calm down. Whenever you do get a chance to see him in person, you should have a discussion. Do it in person though. Ask him what he wants, why he can’t be reached, what he would want you to do in an emergency and he’s unreachable. Don’t be loud and dramatic with it- you can’t force him to be a dad in the end it’s his decision. If he’s feeling heat from both baby mommas then he’s gonna flake out.
an
Honestly I think this is the best advice yet thank you
Bring this to court, if he continues to be an inconsistent father you shouldn’t feel bad for not wanting him in her life. Until your daughter can make her own logical decisions, you’re in charge of making sure she has the healthiest and most wonderful life possible. You owe it to her to give it your best effort to have him around which you have been doing except he’s the one who isn’t trying at all. You can explain to her when she gets older in a neutral way because he is still her father and she’ll understand that you were right for doing what you had to do. You’re doing so much for that little girl she’s so lucky to have an amazing strong mother like you.
an
Thank you I appreciate it
Take him to court. It's not about you or him. It's about HER. Clearly hes dodging responsibilities and theres nothing you can do about it until you have a court order. And by telling a judge you dont want the child around his girlfriend because she threatened you would not be a smart move. A judge will laugh in your face, and ask for evidence and a police report. Otherwise you'll just sound like a scornful ex. Idk where you live, but without a court order he could take your daughter and refuse access and the police cant do anything. Which is also known as abduction. Idk about you, but I would do everything in my power to make sure my daughter is protected. His behaviour is absurd though, and a judge would be a perfect slap to the face.
Em
Did you file a police report? I'm sorry to tell you, but unless she has physically beat your child, they don't care if she threanted you or the fact you have "witnesses".
an
I do have proof and witnesses ,his parents don’t want her near my daughter either
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