I dont know what to do .. or why it still bothers me .

A few years ago I was dating this guy John , and was doing a lot of things I shouldn’t have been ( being a rebellious teenager) . At the time he was 19 and I had just turned 16 we were in a relationship for a while but my parents didn’t know and that was because I knew they wouldn’t approve since he had been in and out of jail a lot .

One day I was with John , some girl and his brother who happened to also be my friend. At some point John texted me telling me that he had to talk to me in the back bedroom so me being naive I went . He pinned me to the bed and started undressing me and I kept telling him to stop and I was trying to push him off of me . But then he pulled down my underwear and kept saying “it’s okay” and he tried to put “the tip” in . At this point I started screaming and his brother came in and forced him off of me , I took off running to my car and left . He was texting me about how he was sorry for trying to rape me and when I didn’t answer he started threatening me until he moved .

It wasn’t until I scrolled past the old messages of when he was apologizing that it made me realize I’m still hurt by it .

Now I’m in a relationship with a different guy and planning on getting married but I’m still bothered by the John thing and I don’t know what to do.