Okay, so about a year ago, my relationship with my husband (he was then my boyfriend) was really rocky. He had been picking fights with me for about 5 months over every little thing. Stupid stuff. Well, there was this guy that I saw at school. I was friends with him, and I was talking to him one night. He basically said that if I wasn’t dating anyone, he wanted to have sex with me. I shut it down. I didn’t tell him right away about it because I shut it down, but since I didn’t tell him I felt REALLY guilty about it. I felt like I had cheated even though I really didn’t do anything. So the next day before class, I didn’t really have time to talk, so basically all I got out was that I cheated. He of course was mad. Had every right to be in that moment. But then after class when I told him what had happened, he kind of laughed it off and he told me he didn’t think that was cheating and told me that he trusted me more than ever. But THEN he started trying to fight with me even more and eventually did start to accuse me of cheating on him. I was heartbroken I didn’t know what to do. I had gone on a trip to Colorado with my parents and I was hanging out with a childhood friend of mine. I didn’t want to ignore her and be rude especially while eating lunch. So I didn’t really have a chance to talk to him much. And it made him furious. He started calling me all sorts of stuff and said I cheated on him and this and that... I ended up breaking up with him. I went home, and he told my sister that I cheated on him. So he basically turned my whole family on me claiming that I cheated on him. So after MONTHS of him accusing me of cheating and months of fighting over every little thing... I slept with the other guy. We were broke up for a week and I know that’s not very long and everyone gave me crap about it. I felt bad about it. But that was partially my point.. I wanted to feel like shit to stop myself from going back to him. It obviously didn’t work. I mean I’m married to him now. But while we were apart he dated other girls. In fact, he actually tried to swoop in on his “best friends” ex girl at the time. And when we got back together, my cousin told him it made me uncomfortable that he was still friends with them. So we had that conversation and literally the next day he sends me a snap of her in Walmart dressed in BOOTY shorts and a low cut cami. I didn’t make a big deal about him hanging out with her until that. How disrespectful to hang out with the girl literally the day after having a conversation with your girlfriend about how uncomfortable it made her? And the first time we had sex after getting back together, he told me afterwards it wasn’t special for him anymore. So that was really sweet. So me being my dumb self I married the dude less than 3 months later and moved 4000 miles away. I ended up pregnant and found out the morning after the wedding. And then almost immediately found out that he had been liking pictures on Instagram of naked/mostly naked women. An incident had happened before in November before any of my stuff happened. We were flipping through posters in Walmart and there was a picture of a girl all sexy and made up and literally just a net covering her bits. So I quickly flip past and I’m not kidding. He RIPS it out of my hand and holds it open so he can gawk at this girl. He swore up and down that he was looking at the corner as a joke and that he wasn’t actually looking at the poster. Bull crap. I eventually let that go. But it didn’t stop there. I found several pictures and accounts he had been following all through our relationship. So yeah. I was heartbroken. To me THAT is cheating. And he knew that. We had a conversation about it before becoming a serious couple. To me that is no different than sexting. But anyways, we worked past it. Fast forward to tonight. My sister is getting married, so I have to fly back home for that and he is staying here. He made it a point to stop our conversation to tell me not to see this other guy. Like.. no duh? And then he claims it’s not a jab at me and that he trusts me and how he just needed to say it for himself. I mean what other reason for himself would he need to bring it up if he didn’t trust me? He brings this crap up ALL the time. Just when I think we are past it, there it is again. My wounds are so much fresher. I mean, I found out he cheated on me the ENTIRE time we were dating right after we were married. Not to mention the other stuff he put me through. I don’t even know if I should get into it. He made me miscarry our child at 13 weeks because I didn’t feel good and didn’t want to have sex with him. Idk I don’t throw every little thing he does, even when they aren’t so little, but he feels like it’s okay for him to. When I found out about all the stuff he was doing while we were dating, he told me to get over it. But he can still bring up what I did while were split up. Typical. He stormed out of the house and went for a walk at 3 am. We live in Alaska. It’s winter. He’s dumb. And now he’s back home, he came in, grabbed his charger, and is sleeping on the couch. Because he knows it makes me mad when he does that. Am I the one being crazy here? I mean, I’m not trying to say my mistakes were okay. Because I know they aren’t. But I’m trying to work past what he did. And I don’t feel like he is. Why did he want to marry me if he was so miserable with me? I don’t know what to think.