My S/O and I have been together for about a year and a half, up until now, we’ve been long distance, spending 1-2 weeks together every single month.

At the beginning of this month, we moved in together, thousands of miles away from both of our families. He has coworkers to lean on, i haven’t made any friends yet, as I’m extremely shy and have trouble branching out.

Since we’ve moved here, I feel like he’s been distant, and less attracted to me than he has been in the past. I know that living together gets rid of the urgency we used to have when we were long distance, but now I have to physically stop him from whatever he’s doing to get a “hello” kiss when either of us get home from work. I understand that he’s stressed, I am, too. But I feel like he treats me more as a roommate than the person he plans on marrying. We argue more, which I expected, but I never feel quite like it’s resolved because we’re so different and we handle things so differently.

And then, there’s the fact that he used to complain multiple times a day about how he wished we were together because he was horny, and now I’m lucky if we have sex once or twice a week. Even when I initiate, he usually turns me down. Once again, i understand not feeling the need to be intimate several times every day because the urgency is gone, but it hurts my feelings because I feel like he doesn’t WANT to have sex with me. We’ve discussed it and he always says it’s not me, it’s that he’s tired or stressed, etc. but it really effects my self esteem.

Meanwhile, the more distant he is with me, and the more we fight, the more I start to wonder if this is what’s right for me. I know that I love him more than anything- my heart is so full of love for him, I can’t even describe it. But I feel so lonely, and so confused, and so frustrated even, that I wonder if i’m making the wrong decision by staying in the relationship.

Are these things that are happening normal? Are the thoughts I’m having normal?

I love him so much but I don’t know what to do. Is this something all couples have to go through and come out on top of? Or is this an early sign that something is wrong??

Please help, I need advice!