Did anyone not heal correctly after tearing?

My vagina itself seems to have healed correctly but the perineal seems like it didn’t heal up. I had a second degree tear vagina to butt 😬 the stitches hurt A LOT and was stubborn to heal. At my 6 week check up the dr cauterized it and sent me on my way. I’m a year pp now and it just doesn’t seem right. The best way I can explain is like when they say the do a perineal massage to prevent tearing I don’t have a perineal anymore! There’s nothing I could massage if that makes sense