So I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder I’d say at the age of 12.(thats early Ik but I was in and out of the hospital & evaluated) It didn’t seem like I was bipolar, to myself that is at that time I couldn’t see when I was going from depressive to mania. 4 years later and I can. It’s driving me a bit crazy. Especially mania I can’t focus really and I’m constantly rambling and frantic. I’m now able to identify when I’m in a different area like Euthymia, mania, depressed etc. I really dislike being depressed, but I despise mania because it’s not me and its not who I want to be. It’s out of my control though. I love when I’m at a balance. I’m on Adderall for focusing and it helps but seems like I can over power it? Idk but should I even be on that. Should I get a medication to lessen my swings?

I’m just afraid to mess around with medications rlly..