That is really hard and I’m sorry to hear that.

What i have done was to look at the situation from above, and see it from both sides.

Dive into the truth about why it didn’t work out.

Were there red flags? Someone mistreating the other? Distance of emotions? Not enough attention? Or maybe something entirely different.

I think the hardest part of the first couple weeks is going back and forth with yourself remembering all of the best moments, and wallowing in self-pity of how great of a struggle it is to cope with the loss of a relationship.

My personal opinion is that if you are going to spend time thinking about the relationship after a breakup (most of us do), spend time on the worst moments and how that made YOU feel. Remember the feelings of what you used to push deep down and maybe pretend weren’t there so that you could act like everything was going okay.

Aside from that, spend time with yourself and your child. If you have the money, go do things like treat yourself to a mani or pedi, go get new clothes or new underwear, go out and relax at a cafe, or take yourself out to eat. If you don’t want to be alone then bring some family or friends to go out and have fun with you.

You have to make new fresh memories. In this know that you are moving forward, don’t forget why you are moving forward, but push into this new phase of life accepting the past and start to spend more time with yourself, your child, and your family and friends.

In the past some of the most healing things to me was to start cleaning more, clean thoroughly, cook more, maybe some new recipes, bake some deserts. Get rid of the things that remind you of them even if it is extremely painful, buy new items in your household to keep it feeling fresh and new.

Stop listening to the music that reminds you of them, discover new music or new tv shows to develop new interests.

All that to say, take your energy of sadness and throw it into fresh life experiences. Spend so much time doing the things YOU love and throw your energy into your child, your friends, and your family. These are people that are still here for you, they are invested in you and they love you. They want to be with you through this.

There is a reason why you broke up and never look back. It is most likely the best decision.

I have not had a child with anyone so i don’t have experiential advice on that but i am sure you will know how to deal with the father and your child seeing them.

Stranger, fellow woman, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Your struggle matters.

Healing process

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