December 2018. One week before my stepfather’s birthday I was experiencing some symptoms of pregnancy however I was not sure if I was pregnant or not . I was spotting brown blood so I suspected it to be implantation. My plan was to test on my stepdads birthday which was 2 days before Christmas and that if I was pregnant it would be a Christmas gift to my parents. I tested that morning, still spotting and bleeding . It was positive . Hours later, after I told my husband the brown blood turned red and was heavy . I had been bleeding all week but I didn’t know what was happening anyway it was brown so I figured it was ok. I freaked out and we rush to the urgent care since it was a Sunday and 2 days before Christmas. I waited and waited then the doctor came in smiling and I was an emotional wreck. He said I would need to go to the ER. I get to the ER, I’m there with my husband, my sister and her husband. I’m starting to feel some pain. The wait was unbearable ( in the lobby and in the room) I got my blood drawn and did a urine test. I’m bleeding a lot by now. My husband and sister were being so positive so it helped lift my spirits . The doctor came in and said some pregnant women bleed throughout their pregnancy and it can be common ... etc... I felt some relief yet I was still scared to death. I just wanted to know that we were ok. Moments later , the doctor came back in after running some tests. By now I had been on the room with my mom and sister . I didn’t want my mom to find out this way. The three of us were talking about the baby and my mom could wait to tell everyone she knew. This would have been her first grandchild and all her friends had them so she was so excited. The doctor came in and I saw the look on her face . I just knew I had lost my baby. I was on such a high at the moment just talking about it with my mom and sister then bam... just like that... gone. I didn’t get hysterical. I just felt disappointed and was at a lost for words. My husband came in my sister told him and he was disappointed as well. The hurt seems unbearable and with it being Christmas time , it feels worse. Christmas won’t be the same. My life will never be the same.