So my first love and I broke up 3 years ago. I still think about him and like him. I was thinking of hitting him up when I felt ready but things didn’t work out that way.

We stayed in contact for two years after breaking up, we ended on good terms and it was because we were heading different directions in life. So we let go of each other. I haven’t had contact with him for about a year but we follow each other on social media.

I am not hurt by him anymore, I wouldn’t say I miss him either. It’s more of a want. My idea of him is probably way better than he might actually be. I keep idolizing him. Like he’s perfect. He looks perfect. He treated me great. He’s always wanted what was best for me even if it was something I didn’t.

He messaged me back in December and we had a small conversation. I feel like I have missed my chance to be with him again. I know he still likes me too. I was giving myself some time and space before going back to talking to anyone but things didn’t go as planned.

I started talking to another person, this person is friends with him and they have been since middle school. I met them both in high school.

This new guy is amazing. He’s everything I have ever wanted. He also hasn’t moved on from his first love. He seems to be all about me. I’m basically competing for him with his pregnant best friend and I want to give up because it’s a hassle and it’s mentally draining. I just keep giving them their space and barely talking to him at this point...But my feelings for him are so strong I just wish I never met him.

In the end idk what the fuck to do, I want to drop him and focus on myself only. No guys. But that’s hard too😪

What would you do?? Thank you for taking the time to read 💕