Hi friends. I’m new here. I just miscarried my first pregnancy last night. I wasn’t very far along, but man I loved that baby more than I’ve ever loved anything. I wanted and prayed for that baby for so long. When you find out you’re pregnant, you start mocking up this whole life for your baby. You wonder who they will be, what they will look like. You start picturing the birthdays, christmases, and all the moments full of joy. And when that heart stops beating, it’s like you lose all of that too. Now all I’m left with is wondering who they would have been and what life would have been like if I ever got the chance to carry that baby in my arms and not just in my heart. I feel like I’ve been robbed of so many happy moments and left with a giant heartbreak instead. This grief that I feel is all the love I want to give this baby, that I no longer can. A huge love with no place to go. I prepared this place in my heart for a child that never came. I didn’t get to meet my baby. I didn’t even get to hear it’s heart beat. All I got were two simple lines a few weeks ago, but they meant the world to me. 💔

I’m terrified at the thought of trying again. I’m so heartbroken, I want children so badly but don’t know if I can go through this again. I’m hoping this group can help give me the strength to try again when the time is right. ❤️