Why reach out if you’re just going to be negative?

I got engaged at 19, I am 21, and we are still engaged. He’s 4 years older than me. We have graduated college, and are getting into careers soon. We are holding off on the wedding, not trying to rush anything until we can afford it. I don’t think that is wrong or unreasonable. We have been engaged 1.5 years now. We will probably be married at 2.5 years of engagement or so. I’m not worried about it. I’d rather have a savings and a house than be stuck living paycheck to paycheck in an apartment. We both live with our families so we can save. I think we are making smart decisions.

My family had a come apart when we got engaged. I told them it would be a few years. Still, a meltdown. “It’s not that we don’t like him, but you aren’t ready”... “You have to finish school, don’t let a man change your plans with a marriage”... Etc etc etc. They’re coming around to the idea now that they know we were serious about holding off. I still get the occasional family member reaching out “Don’t do it! My marriage at that age went to shit! You need to wait, no one ever finds real love THAT young. You are naive and young and stupid!!!”

HOLY SHIT IM GOING TO LOSE IT. I have a BA at 21, started my MA. 4.0 student. What is young about that? I still don’t understand how getting married “ruins” anything school-wise. MY MARRIAGE HAS NOT CHANGED A DAMN THING ABOUT MY PLANS — he’s just been worked into MY plans. Just because someone else’s marriage didn’t work out at “my age” doesn’t mean mine won’t!? My fiancé is my biggest supporter when it comes to school. Those family members putting down marriage because I’m “not ready” are the same ones putting down school because I “don’t need it”. Someone please tell me I’m not the only one that’s gone through this. Tell me what you think, from my end, it’s all screwed up.