Disclosure: keep your negative (bashing) comments to yourself please and thank you!

Okay here I go. So I’m 24 and found out today that I’m pregnant..again. I have a 2yo son who will be 3 in July. I’m no longer with his father, though I am in a happy relationship, of a year and a half now. Me and my boyfriend are moving in our own place come this April. He has an 8yo son from his previous relationship. He’s a nurse & I’m a manager at Nike so our finances are pretty decent. He’s a great father and a good man and awesome father figure to me and my son. We have a lot of the same goals & interests. And we both want marriage and at least 2more kids...it’s just that right now wasn’t in my forecast😔. My boyfriend is all for it and does NOT want to abort..especially bc we already had to send one of our babies to heaven last July👼🏾. Now I know some of you all are thinking like “what are u idiots doing to prevent”..and the only answer I have for that is..sh** happens 🤷🏾‍♀️.

My fears that are pushing to not go through with this mainly stems from everything I went through with my sons father. Everything was great up until I got pregnant. He was charming,caring, goofy, loving & made me happy. But when I was around 14wks, everything went down hill FAST. I was alone majority of my pregnancy, he became verbally, physically & emotionally abusive, got fired from his job and could care less about it. Instead he wanted to smoke weed all day and play video games while I worked & nested Alone. And eventually I had to tell myself that enough was enough and I need to leave. So I did & it was by far one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Being a single mom is VERY VERY hard work especially with limited support. So that’s the main reason I’m afraid to have this baby bc I don’t ever want to have to go through that again, and be stuck with 2 babies and alone. It terrifies me honestly that he might change up on me once I’m far into my pregnancy and there’s no turning back. I know it’s not good to make my decision based off doubt but it’s my truth and I really don’t know what to do. I also had planned on getting back in school this year and preparing to open up a business. Now I know a baby won’t completely stop my goals from happening but a baby will definitely slow things down. And I’m just now really getting my ball rolling since having my son.... I’m just not ready 😔

Advice...please!