This is starting to stress me out
This is pretty legnthy. 😅 But I'd really like some opinions.
My boyfriend and I haven't been dating very long. It will be 3 months soon. Prior to that, we were really good friends for about 6ish months. Our romantic relationship was going pretty well for a while. It wasn't exactly what I wanted it to be in some areas, but for the most part, it was perfect. Then we had a really big issue due to a lack of communication on his part, that really shook us up. Right after we got that mostly figured out, he tore two tendons in his back, which has prevented him from being able to workout in his normal fashion, and sent him pretty much spiraling. He also found out that he has a small mass in his brain which had been causing migraines for over a year Now, I totally understand the mental toll that this can have on a person, and I really do want to help him, but he doesn't want help, and he thinks he can handle it alone. His mother and I both told him he should get some counseling, but he absolutely refuses. Since we had that big fight, we haven't seen each other in person (it's been about a month) he's been acting so differently, and it's really starting to stress me out. I know that he doesn't bring, and he knows that I drink occasionally. This was never an issue before. Or, if it was, he never said anything in the 9 months that we've been friends. This past Saturday, I was going out with my sister, and I did my makeup and was so proud of it. I told him that if he wants to join us he could, and that I was looking exceptionally cute so he should meet us there. He told me that he doesn't associate himself with drinkers, and sone I'm looking so cute or whatever, if I do anything, he would never talk to me again, and he wouldn't put it past me considering all the stuff that had just gone on between us. What? Now, I'm shook. Like he really had me fucked up. To attack my character like that? Obviously I was pissed, and he apologized for being a dick and said he was having a long day, and he didn't mean to upset me. Whatever. I let it go. That brings us to today, we were talking, everything was good, discussing when we'll see each other again (he's always so busy. Before our fight, we'd see each other like once or twice a week. But now... Nada). He said he's going out of town this weekend, I said that's okay, I'm busy too. It's my brother's birthday, I haven't seen him in a while, we're probably going out. I know it's 2 weekends in a row, but that's super rare for me, I seriously don't drink that frequently. But, holy shit did he have a problem. Said "you're lucky I like you because I don't associate myself with drinkers." He even went as far as to say that he usually disassociates himself with people once he finds out they drink. Like I said, this wasn't a problem before. Before we met in person, I told him I drink sometimes, and the day we met in person I was hungover from the night before, and he knew I was out drinking that night (again, rare. I know this sounds fishy now. Lmao). So if that was the case, he would have ditched me 9 months ago before we became as close. He first told me that if I keep going out and drinking, then he'll start to distance himself from me. As if I'm doing this all the time. He starts going on about how people change when they drink (like how he was abused when his brother used to drink), and about the dangers or drinking and driving, and health risks. I explained that I;
1. Don't get angry or abusive, and have never been black out drunk.
2. NEVER drive drunk, and always have a transportation plan before I even start drinking to prevent such
And 3. Don't even drink enough to have liver or kidney damage or whatever. I MAYBE go out drinking like that 4 ish times a year.
He's like, well I'm sorry I want you to be safe and healthy. It doesn't matter what I say, you're gonna do whatever you want anyway. He then starts complaining about his back and his head. I asked if that's why he was jumping on me like this right now, and that conversation spiraled out of control. Saying he doesn't know, and he's in some sort of mental thing right now, and sometimes he's upset that he even wakes up in the morning because he has to deal with the pain again.
So, like, I feel like he's trying to like tell me what to do with out actually saying it. Like, he wants me to stay home bored all the time because he doesn't want me to go out. And I'm just like, I can't handle it. I'm usually a pretty chill person, but he's throwing my chakras off.