Honestly, no one can tell you about the physical pain that comes from trying to conceive and not being successful. It’s been 14 months and yeah the emotional pain sometimes is almost unbearable, but until you experience it firsthand no one could believe that you could feel physical symptoms: headaches from stress, fatigue, being sick all the time, elevated heart rates, actual chest pain.

Is it worth it? What if it ends up that we really can’t have kids and this was all for nothing. No one tells you how all-consuming trying- and not succeeding it is to try to have a child. I am constantly consumed with emotion- jealousy, anger, and sadness.

I pray that there is a light at the end of this tunnel, and that this is just a stepping stone in our path to having the family we dream of.