The beginning of June my ex and I of 2 years broke up. The next month my Dad died of terminal cancer and my heart was SHATTERED. I lost 35 pounds, I started meeting with random guys through tinder, and felt completely lost.

September came around and I met my current boyfriend, he wanted to take me out all the time and make me feel special. Something I really wasn’t used to from the last relationship. When we started dating I was honest and upfront with him that I wasn’t over my ex. While he was hurt by it, he understood.

My ex and I have gone through some CRAZY things together. I feel bad because every time I start telling my man a story I’m always like “oh so me and a friend” but they’re always stories about my ex and I. So much has happened since we ended things and the way they ended was on awful terms. My heart has been hurting.

He added me back on Facebook the other day and I know when we had dated he mentioned he would always care and want to know how I’m doing no matter what. I feel the same way, so I added him back. He messaged me and we ended up talking on the phone for an hour and a half that night and this morning about another hour. We both laughed and cried. This morning when we were talking he was saying how his girlfriend got mad at him for talking to me last night and he was asking for advice from me. I told him she obviously doesn’t trust him and we probably shouldn’t talk. But we both agree that it’s good to hear each other’s voice and miss each other. He still has a piece of my heart and it hurts that I feel I can’t love my man the way he deserves, the same way I loved my ex.

I don’t know what to do, I feel like shit for talking to my ex and know my man wouldn’t appreciate that. To make matters worse I’m 13 weeks pregnant. I know I should tell my man, every time he kisses me or hugs me I just start crying because I feel bad, but I don’t know what I want. I need my baby’s dad in her life, but I’m just so attached to my ex still. We hadn’t seen each other in months and about 2 weeks ago I had to pick up a router from him, he told me on the phone that I just look so broken and he wanted to hug me but didn’t think I would be the best idea. He also told me on the phone that he still loves me, and thinks about me sometimes when he’s having sex with his girlfriend. (She looks really similar to me so hearing that was a little weird to me, they got together about a month and a half after we broke up)

Talking to him has made me happy and we reminisce about the old days, how we wish things were different, he wishes he treated me better when we were together.

HELP, I FEEL LIKE A GRADE A ASSHOLE.😭