So I’ve known since Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> my little brothers girlfriend was possibly pregnant. Well today she finally saw the dr and they confirmed they think she is 10 weeks and is going for her first ultrasound next Tuesday.

I am so excited for my brother and his girl, and I can’t wait to be an aunt again (this is his first child I have nieces and nephews from an older sibling)

But on the other hand I feel angry, jealous and kind of depressed. He’s a jobless nobody that survives because my dad and I would do almost anything to keep him from being truly homeless. And he’s got a baby in the way and though he’s excited he has no intention of getting out there and doing something he’s like oh it’s cool we can all just live in your shed! Or we can move in with dad and he can support us. 😑😓 they been together for about 4 mo. And weren’t even trying to get pregnant!

Than ive god a dead beat drug addict older sister who gets knocked up every few years and throws them away (abortions, adoption, or otherwise allowed them to become wards of the state).

Then there is me. No kids- well I have my sisters youngest (known) 2 kids and I love them and raising them as if they were my own, is adopt them in a heartbeat if I could!!!

But I can even freaking ovulate and my siblings can apparently make babies like rabbits. like seriously?! What on earth I have done to have such tournaments?! I love all My nieces and nephews and I am so excited for my brother but it’s also tearing me apart inside.

Oh lord have mercy and help me to understand!! 😭😭😭😭