Ok so I cheated on my boyfriend of two years. I’m not happy in the relationship and haven’t been for a while. We live together in his house and I feel uncomfortable to say the least what with it being his house I feel as if I have no say over anything, he charges me rent as he says (and it’s true) nobody can live in this world for free, he expects far too much of me though as well he expects to come home to a spotless house etc even though I’ve been working and he gives me the silent treatment if I’ve had a day off and haven’t cleaned. I feel trapped, he doesn’t give me any love or affection. We’re in February and he hasn’t kissed me since 2018. I can’t remember the last time we had sex. He doesn’t cuddle me or even say goodbye when he goes out, he just leaves. If I text him through the day he won’t reply. I know the relationship is done, but every time I say I’m moving back to my mums he talks me in to staying, I don’t know why because from where I’m standing he’s shown me no love at all for over a year now. So anyway I cheated, and it was so nice to have someone show me a bit of attention, give me a kiss goodnight, cuddle me to sleep and in the morning he even asked if I’d slept well. It wasn’t a stranger, he’s actually the love of my life. We kept in touch after our own breakup 5 years ago and we both still love and care about each other a lot it’s just that in a relationship sense we didn’t work. So yeah. I’m going to leave my partner this time but he just doesn’t seem to let me go, I feel like I need to sneak my stuff back to my mums a bit at a time but feel like I’m living in hell and wanna get out ASAP. He’s never been violent but he is emotionally manipulative and it doesn’t help that I suffer from bpd and depression. I woke up today to slight drops off blood when I wiped, so I’m now terrified in case it’s implantation bleeding. Should have been protected I know. Myself and the ex have had 3 miscarriages over the years so I think deep down we both wanted another but it’s still a stupid thing we have done. Just looking for some advice, any advice. Please don’t be too harsh, I know I’ve done wrong. Just scared and feel very alone right now. I’m about to lose my relationship and home, and could possibly be pregnant with nowhere near enough money to raise a kid on my own. 😭😔

EDIT: the sex was on Friday/ Saturday. Not today. I know it doesn’t fertilise over night.

EDIT: not trying to justify my actions, as I’ve said several times I know I’ve done wrong. If I could have left I would have done a long time ago, he doesn’t make it that easy. He’s manipulative and won’t let me go. And it’s not as easy to just walk out the door when everything I own is in this house.

Just to add his brother is joint owner and lives here too. He’s running his business from home so I’m rarely alone in the house. If I leave whilst partner is at work then he will likely ring and tell him I’m going.

I don’t drive so extreme difficult to take my stuff too! I can probably take like 1-2 bin bags at a time hence why I said over the next few days

Edit: I moved out. Also period late by 3 days.