I love to masturbate, but I honestly hate sex. I always feel so.. dirty and anxious after I do it, and never fulfilled. When you masturbate you can take how long you want, know what to do, and always cum. When I have sex, it’s about my partner and what HE wants, and how much time he spares for me. Lasting isn’t and issue, if he wanted he could go an hour. But because of his “tight schedule”, which I call bull on, it’s always a quickly that leaves me unsatisfied.

Sometimes I like it, and I love sucking him off, it’s just the sex aspect I despise. I always feel great during, but before and after is like a giant ball of anxiety, especially last time when I didn’t hear from him for 3 days, and the last thing he said made me feel like he hated it. In fact, I always feel like that, because when we talk dirty, even fuck, he imagines me with another guy, it’s like he doesn’t actually want me.