It’s story time. So I met this guy though mutual friends. Our friends got each of us the other’s number and we talked on and off for a few months before we officially met. I had seen photos and I saw him in public. He was sitting in a chair crossed from me at dinner once while out with friends. When it came time to meet I was just looking for a friend. If that meant sex then so be it.

So a few of our friends were getting together again and we agreed to meet there and spend some time alone getting to know each other. The day comes and when I saw him. I wanted to cry.

I by no means felt any resentment and have fallen for him hard. We hang out at night time usually after his two kids go to bed. And I hide in a closet if they wake up for anything. (Not ready to officially meet) although they have seen me many times there with mutual friends of their dads.

He is only partially paralyzed, waist down and only in the right side. I have tended to is every need and he is always there showing me appreciation for what I do! He has to catheter himself every few hours to pee.

Financially he does just fine and has never relied on me for anything and all aspects of our relationship/friendship is good. His mom comes over less to tend to the household needs since I’ve been doing most of it at this point.

However, yesterday when I got there he was standing. He can with a brace and cane and he walked to me. I was shocked as I’d never seen it but knew that he was tall at 6 ft 2 well before this. I helped him back to the living room and we began to talk and start our normal Netflix routine. Except, he asked about how I felt towards him sexually.

Mind you we never had this conversation. I’m a nurse and suspected that obviously he could get an erection nor feel there anyways. My suspicions stood true but he says he still wants to have sex. He takes medication and I’ve seen that it can get very hard. So here’s the thing...

Should I do it knowing it’s only for my pleasure? I think I’ll feel selfish if I do!! Has anyone been in this situation. He’s such a sweet man and has only been paralyzed a few years after a bad car accident. I could really see a life with this man but have no clue how to go about the sex. Will he think less of me if I don’t? Will he think that I think it’s not enough?? Is there any groups even if outside the app that I could use to find mutual people who have been through this.

I’m so lost for words and more than likely rambling at this point.