Seeking child I placed for adoption?

Question

Ok ladies I desperately need opinions/advice. So when I was 19(I'm 39 now)I placed a daughter for adoption. About a year or so ago, I found her on Facebook. I really would like to contact her, but don't want to invade/interrupt her world. What do y'all suggest? Would love to hear any suggestions or personal experiences. TIA ❤❤

Answer

Did you have an open adoption? Maybe connect with the adoptive family and ask what they think?

Answer

Maybe message her parents first and see if she knows she was adopted and let them know you’d like to reach out to her. 
However you decide to go about this, I wish you the best of luck! I know this can’t be easy. I hope she is open to getting to know you

Answer

Tread carefully. It would be best to contact her adoptive parents first in case she may not know she was adopted.

Answer

I was adopted when I was 8 months old as well as my sister and my brother my sister was 4 and my brother was 2 . Our bio mom was in and out of our lives. It was very disappointing year after year not hearing from her or seeing her . She made a bunch of promises that she could never keep . She tried to buy our love . Today I want nothing to do with her she chose drugs over her 3 kids and then went and had 3 more. I guess what I'm tryna say is make sure it's what you want. Dont pop in and out whenever you want. Don't make promises you cant keep. And dont try and buy her love! I hope it all works out for you ! I wish mine would have. I have a son that is due in a week and when hes growing up i dont want him to find out about my bio family. Good luck I hope all goes well !! Praying for the outcome your wishing for ❤

Answer

I guess you could reach out to her, but in a way she doesn't feel obligated to reply. Just tell her you are her birth mom and would love to get to know her and answer whatever questions she may have, but if she doesn't want to she in no way has to and that you wish the best for her either way. Theres a chance she may not know she's adopted though. And that can cause huge problems

Answer

I am the opposite. I was adopted and I was dying to find my birth mother. I finally found her on Facebook and contacted her but she messaged me once then ghosted me. I think if it is something you are really ready and willing to put in the effort to make a connection it could be very good! Just don't do what my birth mother did, I never felt unwanted or abandoned through the adoption (I actually was grateful that she made a difficult choice to give me a better life) but having her drop off the face of the Earth stabbed me in the heart. However my brother was also adopted and his birth family reached out but he is not ready for it yet. I think the biggest thing to do is be kind and be patient but I think it won't hurt to reach out. I wish you all of the luck in the world ♥️

Answer

She’s an adult, it wouldn’t hurt to message her without having to ask her adoptive mother first. Keep us updated! This is exciting ❤️

Answer

I would contact her. Most children put up for adoption usually want to know where they cane from. She's old enough to make her decision on whether or not she will communicate back. Who knows maybe she was trying to find you all along and had no luck. Keep us updated!

Answer

Being adopted as a child, the reunion with my biological parent has not been a fairytale. 
I think if she is interested, she will reach out. 
She might be upset, or elated...I can’t say. But be prepared to answer questions and also be prepared for rejection. 
Not certain of the circumstances that led you to put her up for adoption, but clearly you had good intentions. I’m not sure if disrupting her life with a past she never really knew would be in her best interest.

Answer

I would contact the agency and see what procedures are in place for making contact. Also try doing DNA testing on the major companies. She may have tested looking for you. I’ve used Ancestry, 23andme, Family Tree, and My Heritage to try and find my birth mother and I know that many adoptees have done so as well.

Seeking child I placed for adoption?

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