Let me preface this by saying I’m not passing judgement on formula feeding or supplementing. Please don’t see it that way. I have an older kiddo who was formula fed and although I wish I breastfed him formula was good too.

Now. I hardly slept last night. I had to clean and pump and wake with the baby to nurse her. My husband gets home around 5:30 and I ask him if he is okay if I take a nap. He says yes and he’s holding our daughter with her pacifier on the couch, I tell him to wake me if she gets hungry. Well when he finally wakes me she’s screaming bloody murder. She’s inconsolable and I’m still tired and groggy. I try my best to latch her but I can’t she’s screaming so hard she won’t take it. This is the worst I’ve ever heard her scream in the three months since I’ve had her. I’m hazy and don’t know what else to do, I have a small stash of ready made enfamil samples so I put a nipple on one then shove it at my husband. I lock myself and get in the shower and I cry. I’m out now and I am still crying. I can’t bear to go out there and face my husband or even may baby. I text him to tell him that I can’t handle it and that I feel like I can’t breastfeed now like a failure and he doesn’t even care. I don’t know why I feel like this but it really hurts. I’ve failed my breastfeeding relationship with my daughter I can’t even bring myself to go in the other room and see her. I don’t know why I feel like this.

Edit/update: last night while I was still a little upset and I was hiding in my room, I heard my daughter cry in the living room so I went and got her from my husband. I took her with and nursed her and played with her and cuddled her. She was happy to nurse. I put the formula away and now it’s the next day and we’ve been nursing since last night. I think I was just overwhelmed and put on the spot. I thought if she would drink the formula she wouldn’t want to go back to breastfeeding but she did. My husband and I are okay too although I still don’t think he understands how important to me breastfeeding is. He said he’s glad I went back to it because formula is expensive but I guess I can’t expect him to understand. All your comments really helped I don’t know if I would’ve been able to pick myself up so quick without the encouragement. Thank you ladies