I have always been a heavy girl in my family and most of my friends. I got compared to my skinnier cousins and how if I lost weight I would finally be beautiful. I hate that I have self doubt in myself because of people saying stuff like that to me. I have hated my body and who I'm for a long time and still battle with it daily. But I'm trying to eat better and work on losing weight for myself and no one else because I want to be healthier and more comfortable with myself. I look at old pictures of me and think wow I wasn't that big why did I believe those lies, why didn't I just love myself more. The biggest I have gotten in the past couple years has been 245 and I cried because I let those negative thoughts and words push me into believing that I'm fat so might as well eat more and let myself gain more weight. Now I'm trying to eat better and lose weight to feel better about myself. Before Christmas I was 235 and now I'm 225 I'm slowly but surely losing weight. I have back problems since I was in 8th grade so if I lose more weight it can help me physically with back pain and I want to feel more confident than I have felt in the past.