Dear life,

What have I done to feel this way? Why couldn’t have I been a bit different? You’ve made me suffer through the hardest times. You’ve made me cry myself to sleep. You made me break down and want to die. But I was never given a reason, people would ask why and I couldn’t answer. I could have died, but I didn’t because death is my greatest fear. You’ve made me question everything at a young age while other kids would play. I’ve always been different and trudged through the hardest of times. I couldn’t do certain things because you, life, made me afraid. I was afraid of everything, I was afraid of me. Then to make it harder, I was birthed into a family where I have to hide myself. If I ever wanted to love, it wouldn’t be who I wanted to love. Why was I put here? Why am I alive? I can’t escape you for I am afraid. I limit getting close to people, I build walls so high nobody will ever get in. Then I know, one day those walls will cave in, crushing me inside. Letting everyone see what I am and how I feel. Life you forced me to have this happen to me. When that horrible day comes, I’ll be able to experience true horror, even outside my head.