This is gonna be a long one !!

Ok so i don’t know what to do with this issue I have it’s been making me insecure about taking off my clothes around my partner cause of it and I don’t know how to stop and I just need to rant about it and maybe get some advice idk. This is gonna sound really weird but I just need to talk about it and I feel uncomfortable talking to people I know

So I’ve had this problem for maybe almost a year now where I can’t stop plucking out my pubic hair to the point where I’m bleeding. If I go to use the washroom and I see it I will sit in the bathroom for hours trying to remove every single hair I see even the ones under the skin. I scratch at my skin until I can get it and most times when I’m done there’s usually blood all on my fingers and it stings to touch and then I end up with a lot of scabs that I just pick open again and again and i have scars because of it now. I’m always scared my boyfriend will see it when he goes down on me so I always make him turn the lights off cause I don’t want him to think I’m gross and I don’t like to let him touch me cause I’m scared he’ll feel the bumps from me picking. I’ve tried waxing and shaving to get rid of it all to prevent me from picking but it never fully gets all of the hairs gone so I still try to pick it all away until it’s spotless. I really just want to stop but I can’t and I don’t know what to do. If you actually read this far thank u and if anyone had any advice it’d be really helpful

EDIT: forgot to add I used to not do it much but I got really addicted when I stopped self harming so I don’t know if its my brains form of release or something since I just do that now