Hi my name is Bethany I'll be 30 in November I have two handsome amazing little boys one is 8 and one is 5 from a previous relationship... I married my husband almost 3 years ago we have been trying since day one.. we have had two miscarriages one at five weeks in July of 2017 one at 10 weeks on Mother's Day 2018 it has really taking its toll on me but I know God has a plan the reason I feel selfish is because I'm sitting here crying and begging God please just one more I just want one with my husband and I know there's women on here they can't have any or have been trying longer than me and I have two beautiful boys God gave me and i am greatful for that and I do I promise if the Lord doesn't give me anymore I will love and be happy with the ones that he did give me I just want my husband to have his own he deserves that he's such a good dad he loves my kids like their his own he never hesitated when i told him i had kids hes at every sporting event gets them up for school in the morning puts them to bed at night he's their dad...I can't imagine what it would be like if he had one of his own with me.... I feel so broken (i do have pcos), I feel so helpless, I feel like it's not fair to my husband...what do I do girls help me I'm breaking here I promised I wouldn't... but I am... and I can't show my kids or my husband that help me to stay sane and keep my faith