Idk where to post but I thought I would post here in hopes that I am not alone in this. I’ve been pretty numb throughout my whole pregnancy never really knowing how I truly feel about this third pregnancy. But as the due date approaches I’m feeling more anxiety, and depression. I’m in this alone... again this time by choice I left an abusive toxic relationship and I kept the baby probably because I still couldn’t get over the fact that I lost my second pregnancy. I hate the father of this baby, I don’t feel very connected with the baby I know things will change when he is here but I’m so scared. I don’t want to do this again, this isn’t how I wanted things to be. I feel so alone so empty I’m not excited I’m just scared and anxious. No one knows how I truly feel because I won’t dare to say the words out loud. I feel like a shitty mother for even thinking this way but the truth is I wasn’t ready for another child, maybe if this was my daughters father I would feel different about it. I am terrible human being for wishing I wasn’t pregnant wishing I could turn back time and never to have met this person and stay with my ex. I hate the position I put myself in. I don’t want to do this again, I hate my life. I’m trying so hard to compose myself and not fall into a depression or even stress myself out more than I already am since I’m in danger of going into preterm labor. This is so much fun, No negative comments please I’m already beating myself up for feeling this way. 😔 just venting