I deal with depression and bipolar disorder and when I go into depression it takes me to my darkest and places and it’s hard to come out . I just got out of a toxic relationship and I just had a baby so I’m dealing with postpartum . I just got out the mental hospital because I tried to kill myself , I just want to give up soooo bad , I’m so hurt . My baby daddy planned a baby with me and then I begged him to stay with us at the hospital and he didn’t but come to find out , while I was in the hospital with the baby the night I begged he was having sex with his previous baby mom in the bed we both slept in and let me come home and lay in that bed . I read their messages he taking her out and stuff but I get a late night 4am Waffle House trip like a whore but he taking other women out to fancy places . He took other girls out to stay at fancy hotels but we don’t do that . He compliment other women but not me . I feel so low like I hate myself . We was together for 3 years on and off & he act like he embarrassed of me . I’m losing weight , I’m not eating daily or nothing . I feel like I’m at my weakest right now and I have 4 children I’m 23 . What is it , I’m not that bad looking . I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY . I never heard him talk good about me . He call me bald head after Just having the baby he called me fat , ratchet , he said I was a downbad bitch but yet he say he loves me . I never had a father or mother that loved me . I just want to know what’s it’s like to be loved and feel special