My marriage is at a point where I’ll look at myself in the mirror and not see that person I used to be, the girl that used to wake first thing to do her hair and make up, the girl that enjoyed going out with her significant other, She’s just not there anymore at all. I’ve lost myself. It’s at a point where I don’t like going out for drinks with my husband anymore because I don’t know if he’ll end up getting pissed for whatever reason at the end of the night and say stuff he while he’s drunk. It’s been almost 3 years of saying “I need a sign to leave” and gets every sign to do so but is so scared to actually do it. Where the smile that I wear on my face is fake, I have a 7 month old and where he sees me cry sometimes and will just stare at me trying to figure out why his mommy is making such an ugly face. I’ve gotten to the point where I dread when my husband goes out on his own when he has plans because I don’t know if he’ll make it back in time.

I’m a broken wife.