Has anyone felt utter failure whenever they get a negative PT result? Honestly, I’ve been hoping for it to come out positive to help get my mind off my work stress. But everything hitting me all at once is driving me crazy. I can’t stop but sit and cry - then I just end up hating myself.

I’ve wanted my own family for as long as I can remember. I got my birth control taken out on January 8th 2019. Been ttc since then. Had every symptom as you would think I was pregnant. 5 to 8 tests later - negative. My heart sinks every time. My fiancé tells me that we will get there. Let’s just enjoy our time. But my body is telling me otherwise. With all the emotions I’m feeling, I don’t know that to do. It’s making me feel lost.

————————————Side Note ———————————

I had depression growing up and I thought I had overcome it. But I guess not. It was always there. I’m loosing interest in going to work, when it used to bring me so much joy. When I’m home, I don’t feel sad, but I don’t want to leave my room to interact with others.

I know these signs way too well. I’m scared. I’m going to seek professional help before I may do something I regret and end up hurting those that I love.

Don’t know why I’m posting this, I just need to vent to someone else than the ones who are close to me. Because they keep telling me “get over it. Relax. Just wait. Your fine.” Cause in reality, IM NOT FINE. 😪