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I would immediately start separating all your finances from your husband. It sounds like he is addicted? In any event, try counselling and if that doesnt work, I would also consider divorce. Stealing money, lying etc is a huge deal breaker and for your children - seeing parents fight over money is a bad influence on them.. as for your debt, see a financial planner to see if you can negotitate paying down your debt in more affordable instalments.
Just need advice
Me and my husband have been together 12 and a half years, married almost 3. We have 2 beautiful children, 22 months and 3 months. Even before we were married, my husband was bad with money. I usually had more and did my best to be smart with it. I got irresponsible with it and I’m paying the price now. Anyways, my husband smokes weed. I really don’t care unless we don’t have the money for bills. Recently, he has been extremely selfish and been spending way more money than I want. His checks go directly to my bank account because I pay the bills. Well for Christmas, my grandpa gave us $100 and my daughters each got $25 from my aunt and uncle. I left the money from my grandpa in the card and didn’t tell my husband. The girls money I put in my oldest daughters piggy bank. I didn’t tell him where I put that money. My brakes went on my car a couple weeks after Christmas and I was going to use the money from my grandpa for my brakes. That money was missing. Then I thought maybe I folded it up with my daughters money so I checked her piggy bank. No cash. So $150 missing. Like I said before, my oldest isn’t that old. She doesn’t know much about the money in her piggy back and she wouldn’t know how to open it. It’s in her room so only me and my husband had access to the money. I said something to my husband and he flipped because I accused him of stealing the money. Today, I went into my wallet to count the money in there (rent money should’ve been $220) and I was short $40. Were already super behind on our rent so I wanted to get some money to my uncle (our landlord) and I can’t pay him what I wanted to because money is missing. My husband knows there’s money in my wallet. I just know he took the money but he will never admit it. What do I do? We’re on the verge of losing the house, I’m in bad debt and half my cards are going to collections, we have 2 young kids. I don’t want a divorce but I’m seriously considering it. He’s not much help other than financially. Any advice? Thanks for reading to the end of you did.
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Ni
I can’t separate accounts. He only has access to my account if he takes my bank card. His name isn’t on the account. But if he gets his own account, bills would never get paid. That’s why his checks are direct deposited into my account. I did think about getting him a prepaid card so he no longer has my bank card to get money out. Even when he asks and I say take $60 for gas and whatever, he takes more. We don’t argue in front of the kids but there’s tension between us and I definitely don’t want my kids to see or sense that.
I would try counseling, and going to see a financial advisor/planner. Start separate savings accounts for your children, that only you have access to, make sure he doesnt have access to your bank account, and don't keep cash anywhere. I would try those things, and probably more before I considered divorce. But that's just me. Best of luck!
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