I just needed to vent and let everything out.

I just feel so shitty guys. I’m about 5 wks pregnant, I don’t know if I’m going to keep it or not. I really want to but it’s really not the right time. I’m really struggling financially, I haven’t even been with my boyfriend for long (literally one month), I’m only 19 and still quite young minded even though I live on my own and I’m petrified. But at the same time this little baby inside me is apart of me and It really hurts to think about not continuing with my pregnancy.

My boyfriend and I had a massive argument two days ago and I haven’t seen him since. He messaged me the day after our argument and said ‘I’m sorry’ and I replied with ‘okay’ and we haven’t spoken since (that was yesterday btw) the last time I saw him we did discuss the baby and we were both in two minds but I was downloading a million <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.nurture">pregnancy apps</a> & he was just laying there rubbing my stomach. So I can tell we are both on the same page (we both want the baby but have a million and one reasons as to why this isn’t the right time). During our argument he said that he doesn’t want a child with me and that he did before but not now. (After he did message me and say he didn’t mean any of what he said) so I really don’t know.

My family know and they are all pissed at me including my mum who has made some really nasty snide comments. They just keep telling me that it’s my decision and just be prepared because it’s going to be my struggle and I need to be prepared to deal with that.

My friends have different opinions. One swears that I’ll regret having the baby if that is my choice and the other thinks that I should just keep it.

I know I have to make my decision but I just don’t know what to do. I’m just so upset and needed to let it out.

I have an appointment consultation at the clinic on Wednesday which is where I’ll have my first scan to confirm the pregnancy and then to discuss my options.

Really don’t know what I’m gonna do 🤦🏾‍♀️

If you read this far thank you so much ❤️