Losing hope...đź’”

Megan • D

Posting this here because I know there will be ladies who can relate and because I just need to vent and let this off my chest...

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9 months...9 months and it has been the longest time, that my fiancé and I have been TTC. 9 months feel like years honestly. Test after test, negative...negative...negative.

Finally broke down and bought OPK’s, took them for 30 days straight and never once witnessed 2 dark lines.

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My cycles have been irregular since I’ve had my first born who is now 5. He is the light of my life and I am so grateful that I have him. I truly am. But hearing “at least you have him” does not make this heart aching feeling for a second baby go away. It does not help me when people say “time for another one!”, or when my 5 year old so badly wants a baby sibling and asks me every night before he goes to bed when he will have one and all I can say, with tears in my eyes, is “Hopefully soon, buddy”.

TTC is hard. Staying positive is hard. I will continue to pray and know that God has a plan for me. But today, I just want to be in my feelings and know that yes, this is hard. And it’s okay to feel sad and frustrated about it. 💔❤️