I need help ASAP my fiancé and I are having issues for a while now and it’s been mostly my fault.

We have 3 1/2 years together but this love has been the best thing that ever happened to me. We meet in my city (ny) he was a baseball player that was signed by orioles and we just saw each other in the yankee stadium he was with his grandma and a friend , he was looking at me and viceversa but I was laughing but we took the same bus b6 and get off on the same stop ( it was crazy) that night we went for a coffee and has been together since that moment, I ended up pregnant within a month of being together and we had a plan an everything was perfect but then I had to get an abortion, the baby was not on my uterus it was what the doctor called an ectopic pregnancy I died that day, like something in my heart broke and I haven’t been able to recover myself, I feel like he doesn’t understand we are young 27 and 24 but it’s like I don’t have sexual appetite like I can be for weeks without nothing since that happens in 2016 we have a baby now he was born on July of last year but the feeling hasn’t go away, to be honest I have sex with him just to avoid a fight as I’m always saying no and rejecting him, when I was pregnant I was afraid of having another situation where I have to decide to end a pregnancy it was so bad my anxiety that they prescribed pills to help me out we have talk about it he said he want to be with me no matter what but I fell like is not fair for him and as well I don’t how to change I was taking pills to avoid a pregnancy plan B and as well I had iud but as the doctor said my baby was a miracle he didn’t know I had the iud implanted he was mad when he found out but I’m afraid of getting pregnant and I don’t want to have sex like after that my appetite disappeared.