SOS I need Dating Help!!
Hey ladies, I need some honest advice. I'm very shy and tend to be insecure, but I'm ready to start really dating and settle down. The kicker is I don't know how to do that. I would really appreciate some advice.
Here's some background info, aside from being shy, I only had one boyfriend and that was (I hate admitting this) for a month when I was fifteen...eleven years ago...he was emotionally controlling and that crazy guy that kept saying he would commit suicide if I didn't love him. Needles to say I was so exhausted from that relationship I didn't want to date the rest of high school for the most part.
Also mind you a group of girls who didn't like me for whatever reason spread a rumor around in middle school that I was a lesbian and everyone believed that for years. (Someone I went to high school with tried to set me up with their gay sister a few years ago and was so shocked that I wasn't gay) Which was a blow to my self esteem and I'm still haunted by that.
My sister is twelve years older then me so I can't really ask her for advice because she's been married for fifteen years. My parents married in high school (teen parents with my oldest sibling) so they never dated anyone but each other.
I commuted to college so I didn't have the dorm experience and never spent a lot of time on campus. Because I'm shy I have a hard time meeting people as it is.
I'm a writer, soon to be published, I'm moving out on my own soon and starting a new chapter.
I tried online dating, tinder was too aggressive for me, I didn't know now to make the first move on bumble, and POF was stupid: a guy would chat me for weeks and never ask me for my phone number or guys just wanted to hook up or get my Snapchat and send me dick pics. I have gone on two dates from POF and one was the date from hell! I got rid of my account after two years of nothing.
I don't drink because of a health issue, so what would I do in a bar? Order water? I'm too self conscious, I've gained a lot of weight in the last five years and have now started my journey to get healthy, and don't feel comfortable dancing or being seen by other people, so clubs are out.
All of my friends are in long term relationships. I am literally lost. Any suggestions, tips? I go places, I'm out in public mostly by myself-- I don't have many friends so I literally don't know how to do this! I really am trying, but all I know how to do is hold up walls by trying to blend in because I'm so nervous. And read---i am an excellent reader, I always have a book on hand.
Any suggestions would be so helpful, I'm ready I really am, I'm so very lonely and ready... 😔
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