I don't remember when the last time I wasn't so stressed that I wish I'd be hit by a train was

Probably somewhere around thanksgiving or Christmas 2017 cause Jan I found out my moms dying feb I lost my job was unemployed till May worked a shitty job and found out I was pregnant switched jobs in July and that turned out to be shittier fiancé lost his job in October didn't find AND start another till this Jan week after I went on leave my car broke down. Can't get another for the foreseeable future, which means I can't go back to work which means we won't be able to pay our bills. I'm due tomorrow and fiancés boss just told them they're gonna start doing out of town work in the next two weeks- sparadicly till the end of July which means I will be home alone with a newborn and 5 animals AND NO CAR.

WHY does life fucking hate me? And people wonder why I'm so fucking depressed and anxious.

All this does is reinforce wanting to kill my fucking self after I have this baby . I won't even be able to keep seeing my counselor because I won't have a car . Not sure how I'll get my kid to appointments because no FUCKING CAR. I have no family. I have no actual friends. I live in the middle of nowhere.

Please someone put me out of my fucking misery .