Please try not to shame me in your comments. I feel really shitty about myself right now.

Last year I met a man from Spain (Robert) on a work trip in Peru. We had a passionate night before departing and have been causally texting for a whole year since. We are both back in Peru for the same work trip and I totally fucked up the first night in.

He a very quiet person, hard to read and has been a little sick since arriving. But a few of us got drunk (with out him) and I ended up hooking up with another guy in this trip.

I wasn’t even interested and I’m so mad at myself right now. I’ve been dreaming of me and Robert reconnecting literally for a year and as soon as I’m not given attention I hook up with someone else. I hate myself right now and think I have a problem.

Am I just an attention whore or is this clinical? Your thoughts?