Wow, first I just want to say that I never knew this group existed on here even tho I have been on this app for almost 5 months now (since i found out baby #2 was on the way!) and I have a place to vent/talk about my experience. I apologize but this will be long and if you make it to the end, thank you for reading my story and for leaving any kind of advice/words of encouragement for me.

I never filed/pressed charges on the boy who molested me. I was too scared and I just had absolutely no idea what to do, I didn’t tell anybody. I was so young. I regret not telling anybody, I wish I could have put the SOB in jail or something. I hate myself for never telling anybody who could actually have done something at the time.

Now for my story... I was probably 7-8 years old, I was at my church Fall cleanup with my grandfather. I got thirsty so I walked into the church for a drink. As I was walked out of the church kitchen, a boy stopped me, he was maybe I’d say 15-18yrs old. He and his family attended my church so I knew of him but I did not know him at alllllllll. He said “come here, pull down your pants” scared little me did exactly what he said. He then started to finger me and kiss my vagina and asked me “do you feel that” stupid me said “kinda”... I should have kicked him in his balls, yelled, ran away, did something. But I stood there and allowed it to happen. It makes me sick to my stomach writing this right now, I let it all happen. It didn’t last long, maybe 2-3 mins, and ended when another male member of the church walked into the foyer area which was right outside the kitchen. He said “hurry pull your pants up” and then acted completely stupid and said “where you get the cup?” I should have walked out with my pants down and let this older man see that I was just touched inappropriately... I should have told him right there and spoken up, but instead I pulled my pants up and I just ran outside, and instantly got into my grandfathers truck and laid down so nobody could see me, especially the boy who just touched me for the remainder of the Fall cleanup which seemed like HOURSSSS. I told 2 friends back in 4th grade, I highly doubt they even remember. The second person I told was my now ex who I dated for about 3 years in high school, he was so comforting and wanted to kill this person. The third person I told, is my now husband who thinks he actually remembers hearing one of his female friends say that this person also touched her... my father in law is friendly with my molesters father, and his aunt is a custodian at a school with his father too. I’m open about it to my husband but he doesn’t know that every single day this easy me alive and kills me that I allows drhisnto happen and that i regret not doing anything. 18 years later, just recently like within the pay 2 weeks, I looked up my molester on FB and realize he got married and actually took his wife’s last name.... I pray he NEVER has a daughter who he could do this to but I know he will go straight to Hell when he dies for molesting me IN A CHURCH.

If you made it this far, thank you for listening to my story. The time will come when I don’t think about this anymore, but until that day comes it continues to eat me alive. On the real bad days I just remind myself, he will go to hell and it gives me some comfort, but it would have been better if I knew he was a registered offender or did jail time, couldn’t be within a certain amt of feet from a school, or something along those lines...