If you could pray for me...

Esther • I’m better than horrible. EMT and Respiratory Therapist

Or send good vibes. Whatever it is that you do. I’m having a lot of life changes hit me at once.

In November my relationship with my mom became very strained. My husband worked for my parents company and wanted to move on at the first of the year. Even though it wasn’t personal, she took it that way which was a huge surprise because she’s pretty level headed. We aren’t as close as I felt she no longer approves of my husband.

In December we had our first baby. Adjusting to mom life has been harder than I thought.

To top it all off I got laid off from my work from home job (I should’ve saw it coming as I helped with accounting and saw how the business was struggling.) luckily I got a new job, but it’s not a work from home position. So I have 3 weeks to get the hang of pumping and also get used to the idea of leaving my son with a sitter. Luckily my best friend is licensed to have a in home daycare and is taking him.

Pumping is harder than I thought. The idea of leaving him hurts my bones. I’m overwhelmed with all the stuff I have to do the next few days for this job (go do a drug test, take paper work across town....)

Part of me wants to stay home, but I know I’d hate it after awhile. Plus, this job is actually in the field I want and I’ve been trying to get into for 2 years. I want to show my son you don’t have to stop with your dreams. But it hurts to leave him so much. I’m also worried about being able to continue breastfeeding with pumping being a challenge. I want to confide in my mom, but I haven’t even told her about the new job because it’s tense with her still. This is all just a lot at once.