I had a chemical pregnancy. I felt pregnant, I knew I was pregnant before I saw the faint positive. I just knew. And then I started bleeding. I was upset but I had other things to worry about. It seems so insignificant, likes it’s barely a loss, but I feel like it was a loss. It hit me really hard the other day, especially learning my sister in law who is a drug addict is having twins. I have nothing against those babies and I hope the best for them, but I will admit I got bitter thinking that she gets two, and I couldn’t even keep my one. I try not to be bitter, i just hurt, and my husband doesn’t even see it as a loss, it was an ‘almost’ baby, and he tried to cheer me up but he just doesn’t get it. I want my rainbow baby, but I wish I didn’t lose the baby I had. *And nothing against recovering addicts, but she’s not recovering. She’s due next month and just failed a drug test. **To the lady who asked if I could adopt her babies, she hates me and my husband because we wouldn’t let her live with us before she was pregnant because we didn’t want drugs in our house, she’s hoping somehow she’ll get custody and I just hope they end up in a good home somewhere where she doesn’t have access to them.